Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Enduro De Oucho (Part Two)

All that typing, picture loading and what not and I didn’t even get past day 1 of the Enduro.

After all the excitement at Industry Nine was over, we had our first chance to clean up and head out to Asheville Pizza and Brewery. I was itching to strap my beer cap on as I hadn’t gotten into things yet being the DD.

We made it downtown to our great location hippie infested crack house of a hotel and took some showers. Since I was sober, I dove into the shower first and got out so I could continue my celebration of not touching an ignition for the rest of the day and night.

Zach and I were shooting the shit after his shower in the hotel room while Dennis was in the shower. Remember from yesterday’s report that Dennis had already had a spectacular bunny hop induced crash and now he was slowly working his way toward birthday annihilation.

Anyway we were going over the day’s activities when we heard from the shower floor “dun dun dun dun dun, boom boom boom boom boom” the banging progressively sounded more ferocious and ended with a not so comical crash followed by some sundry items hitting the shower floor.

Zach and I immediately looked at each other with surprise, fear, dread, hilarity when it hit us that he could have killed himself in the shower. There had been zero noises in the shower for what seemed like hours but was more likely seconds when Zach walked over to the door, cracked it slightly and said “Dennis, I ain’t trying to be gay or nothing but are you alright?” After a few moments Dennis laughs and says “yeah” I couldn’t stop laughing about this one.

Next event (Various debauchery including La Zoom Bus):

Once we got Dennis up on his feet and out of the shower, we took off by bike down the road looking for AP&B. Dennis claimed he knew the way and as we pedaled I asked various folks for directions. Dennis flatted after pounding his wheels against multiple curbs and said “I can walk from here.” I think some guardian angel flatted those tires for him.

We made it to AP&B, I locked my bike on the bike rack and found Chris and his SO in the bar so I was relieved to know we were at the correct place even though no one else was there in the bar. We ended up ordering a couple pizzas and beers when I decided I better find the rest of the crew. I walked outside looked around and couldn’t see Biowheels. I knew that the restaurant was supposed to be close so I walked back in and quizzed Chris about this. That’s when he got this confused look on his face and said “oops we could be at the wrong AP&B.” A quick phone call made us realize our mistake, I had not known there were two of these restaurants. We were literally ½ block away from the correct restaurant while we were at the hotel but now we were about 4 miles away.

Luckily Chris was able to load Dennis (with a flat still) and Zach up in his car while I raced over to the other AP&B. I was covering all kinds of extra miles in the Enduro!!


We made it with plenty of time to spare and after I swallowed four pieces of pizza in whole form we were on the bus headed only god knows where.


There was some sort of bike derby that I totally missed out on. I think it was the only event I missed all weekend. We had stopped at a local park and unbeknown to me, we were very close to Mr. and Mrs. Pisgah Pro’s house because I eventually found them, mouths gaped wide open looking at us as though the local State Pen had just let loose a bunch of serial killers. That brought me back to reality for ¼ of a nanosecond.

My team in dodge-ball was ready. We chanted the five “D’s” of dodgeball over and over but apparently there is a difference between knowing what you are doing and actually executing.

All I can recall about our game (this was ~midnight) was that in the first 1/8 of a second I tried to catch a hurled ball and instead judo ring fingered that ball and I was out. I didn’t feel it at the time but apparently trying to catch balls in the midnight blackness is no good as my finger was purple the next morning.

The night went on, I partied so hard my flip flop popped and I walked home barefoot sometime around 2:00 am from Jack of the Wood.

Bent Creek Cross Country Race:

Miraculously we all survived the night and we didn’t wake up owing bond. I remember Zach saying “We have to go.” I wanted to kill him for saying that.

After a quick stop for breakfast we drove to the park, where the gates were closed and no one was around. We knew we were in the right spot so I called JUT and Beth only to hear their voicemails when a small (small meaning a child) gatekeeper came and unlocked the gates for us.

Next thing I knew I was suffering behind Beth on some connector trails to Bent Creek. We stopped for a re-group on the gravel beast that takes you to Green’s Lick. There were some words of encouragement offered and we were off on a race to the top and down where bonus points would be awarded for clearing the big hip jump at the bottom of Green’s Lick.

It was everything I had to push the 34X22 to the top of the climb without getting off the bike. Shear will and determination got me there and I was slow going down. After getting banged around for awhile I stopped and let some air out of my front tire so I could at least nab the bonus points for the jump. I cleaned the jump and then the best part of the day began, sessioning the jump.

Wow did we see a couple big jumps and one gnarly fall. The kind of fall that makes you re-think your place in life but luckily no one was hurt. I had one squirrelly landing but otherwise jumped pretty well considering my ring finger on my right hand was purple and throbbing.

Pump Track:

The last pump track we went to was damn impressive. This weekend was the first time I had ridden a pump track and I learned a lot. Mostly I learned how to take my seat out of the seat post and fall really hard in steeply banked corners. However, after some coaching from the local pump track masters, I did finally pump up the hill without pedaling.

We had some awesome riders in the group and they were flying around this track. I am sure that this is one of the hardest workouts I have ever had on a bike. It doesn’t help when you eat it in a berm twice. If you haven’t seen it, I was caught on video stirring up the dirt in a comical way(the video is all the way at the bottom). I always encourage laughter following my own pain.

Chopper Race and Awards:

Jut has possession of an awesome chopper bike that his Father built. Justin set up a quick obstacle course and we all took one run around. It was an awkward bike to say the least and the most amazing moment of the weekend was coming up.

When Matt finished his run on the chopper he took a big handful of front brake, flung the back wheel off the ground and executed a front flip off of the bike. He landed with a huge thud and cheers all around. It was truly a site that will never be duplicated in any universe, ever.

I didn’t expect any schwag from the race but man I took home enough wool socks to help keep a soup kitchen’s feet warm. Thanks so much to Justin and Beth who pulled an awesome weekend out of their hinnies and everyone else who participated, drank, volunteered time and all that jazz. It rocked and I better get an invitation back 8-).

Dennis has some good Bunny Hop photos but I won’t be able to load them until this weekend. I will post them up when I can.



Sharpie said...

VIVA TEAM THREE!!! Yo "Tomato"... great to meet you, Dennis and Zach this weekend. What a freakin' party. Let me or Dunn Beetle know if you guys are ever in Nashie and you have a place to stay. Don't be surprised if you get an invite to Eduro de Nashie. It is already being discussed. Take care.... Sharpie

Pisgah Princess said...

Tomato! Thanks so so so much for the awesome write up.. i hope others do this too.. we want more documentation.. too much happened that should not be forgotten. I'll try to get a good Kuntz pic up soon from the bunny hop... wow..

Lemme know when you are up here to ride.. i never get down to Dupont and i need to.. Meet me there.. soon.

ExtrmTao said...


Nice meeting you Nashville crazies!

I will let you guys know the next time I am headed to the lake so we can ride.


No problem on the write-up, I will get Dennis' pictures out soon.

Dupont ride tomorrow evening if you want in email me. (Thursday)