Why Are You Acting So Crazy?

Since Mike so adamantly requested more posts. I thought I would share a personal side story from this past weekend. After the fact, it is always hilarious when life humbles you. I am humbled a lot, therefore I laugh a lot.

Kristin and I arrived at the camp site Dennis had secured just in time to see our neighbors pulling in. They had two large horse trailers, no shirts (except for the girls thank god), one dog on a chain and a plethora of cowboy hats. This gave me the impression that I would probably have to leash the dogs more than I wanted. After a couple awkward dog induced introductions to our “Western” neighbors, I decided I better run the nerves out of the dogs.

I quickly suited up and took off with Buddy and Shade up the Bear Branch gravel road. When I got to the trailhead, I stopped and took in nature’s beauty while Shade rooted around in a small spring drinking waaaaaaaaaaay too much water. Buddy on the other hand, ran up the slope way out of sight so he could pull off a number two out of my view. He is poo shy big time.

I had 3/4’s of a six pack in me so I took off like a mad man on a meth binge down Bear Branch. On the two flat upper pieces of trail, I could hear Buddy breaking off the path to run by my side. This is his way of letting me know I am going waaaaay to slow. So when the trail pitched, I figured I would give the little guy something to gun for. There is no doubt that I was on the edge of control but since my back wheel had been re-tensioned by a semi-sober BrouSSard, I felt invincible and there were no more fleeting thoughts of paranoia.

Buddy is fast, but I had gapped two seconds on him coming down to the sharp 90 degree right had turn. About 4 seconds later, I heard the ching, ching, ching of Shade’s collar and he came smiling around the corner. If you think I am joking about the smile, you haven’t owned a happy dog.

From there, I took a nice easy spin down the flatter sections. Taking the bike literally inches above the ground in some spots. Back onto Wash Creek road, the dogs were panting heavily and I knew I had accomplished my mission.

That night Clay had his dog at the campground. This caused a dog barking war between our neighbor’s dog and Clay’s. At some point in the night, the barking commenced but Shade started freaking out. I had Buddy and Shade leashed to my cot as I was sleeping under the stars. Buddy was chilling but Shade was acting a fool. When I surveyed the situation I saw hundreds of fireflies in the field and figured Shade was trying to get at them. Around 4:30 – 5am I had enough and got up to put Shade in the car.

An hour later, I am still awake and I hear Kristin’s alarm go off to indicate 5:45AM for me. So I lay there thinking about pedaling up to the Blue Ridge Deathway at such an ungodly hour when I remembered Shade. I put my contacts in and got up to let him out. He was ecstatic to get out of the truck and started yanking me all over the place. I cussed him and told him to behave, I should know by now that he doesn’t miss-behave and something is wrong but it just doesn’t register.

So I walk him down to the camp and he leaps into the tall grass almost taking me with him. I look over and see him doing the quick foot shuffle to get into prime squatting position just as a moan of ecstasy leaps from his gullet. Immediately I am overtaken with the smell, my eyes start to water and I wonder if the smell might wake up everyone around. Then I remembered the fireflies (all he wanted was to poo), later I would remember the over-indulgence on the creek water that must have upset his tummy. However at this moment in time all I could think of was how awesome this dog is. He held off explosive diarrhea for an hour and a half while he was in my car. THAT could have been a really bad start to the day.

Peace